As I read the critique, my immediate reaction was defensiveness, anger and a very territorial feeling. And I thought, “Who do they think they are? And who are they to criticize me?”
The instant, raw reaction surprised me and as the warmth crawled from my neck toward my face, I knew it was because there was some truth to it.
Although my reaction was probably a pretty normal human one, I think I was even more disappointed in myself because I’d been doing a lot of mindset work lately. Self-development, personal growth were now constant themes in my life. I was learning a lot, but obviously hadn’t had much opportunity to put these new skills into practice. Until now…
With a little time and space to reflect on it (and an intense conversation with my husband/confidante), I took stock of the situation. I received a minor criticism from someone I respected and that tiny pushback felt like a really big deal in the moment and instead of opening up to the opportunity, I recoiled and lashed out. Instead of moving forward in curiosity, I shrank back in a defensive posture.
Instead of allowing myself to expand into growth, at least for the moment, I contracted and shrank away. Folding in on myself momentarily in that comfy little cocoon of emotional childhood. That’s not a healthy place to hang out though, and thankfully I emerged quickly.
Leaning into expansion can be a little scary. Opening ourselves up to inspection – introspection even – can leave us feeling very raw and vulnerable. But this openness, tenderness and vulnerability is where the magic happens.
We learn to sift through all the crap that can float around in our thoughts at any given moment and put them in the proper perspective. “Take every thought captive” as it were. Then decide how we want to feel about them and which ones even deserve our feelings.
Finally, we can choose to take action that will open us up to expansive growth. Moving toward that which will transform us in new and exciting ways.