“I can’t do it.” “I’m not capable.” These are thoughts that many of us have quite often – maybe even every day. And there truly are some things we can’t do or aren’t capable of. I am certain that I cannot step off a cliff and fly without some sort of assistance. I just can’t do it and I’m totally cool with that. I can’t becomes a problem when it involves something we think we WANT to do or HAVE to do.
I love the quote “Whether you think you can’t or think you can, you are right.” Obviously does not apply to my cliff flying reference, but in general, can’t and can come down to one thing. Our thoughts. How we think about something directly influences how we feel about it and how, or if, we take action.
Speaking of feelings, how does that phrase “I can’t” make us feel? Incapable, weak, inadequate, useless. These are not feelings that inspire us to take action, right? These are feelings that keep us stuck. Our brains LOVE to think that we can’t do something because then they get to take a break. “Oh we can’t do that? Cool! I’m just going to rest and save my energy for all those autonomous functions you seem to need 24/7.”
Uncertainty IS scary, but trying is rarely dangerous. So first step is to narrow things down. If we say we can’t, but we think we WANT to, ask do we really want to? And why? Same goes for if we think we HAVE to. Do we really want to? And why?
Next is to identify barriers. Ask, what would it take to turn my can’t into a can? Courage? Help? Training or education? Money? Time? Think about what it would take to overcome those barriers. Decide a course of action (or inaction) and brainstorm thoughts that will help to turn around the feelings that “I can’t” generate.
Affirmations – New Thoughts
- Incapable: “I am not ashamed to be a beginner and learn something new and hard.”
- Weak: “I am taking small steps and becoming stronger with each one.”
- Inadequate: “I acknowledge where I am and open to growth.”
- Useless: “I am enough, I matter and I make valuable contributions.”
31 Thoughts is a monthlong series exploring thoughts that do not serve us, how to flip the way we think about them and affirmations to generate new feelings, new actions and new results!